The Adventures of Clergy in the Country

       In rural areas of Australia, and probably North America, congregations often share church buildings. The story goes that one Sunday a pastor turned up at a country church only to be met by a single, solitary farmer. "Well, brother," he addressed him, "if you took a cartload of hay out to your cattle and only one cow turned up, you would feed her, wouldn't you?"

     "Most certainly!" was the farmer's reply.

     At the pastor commenced the whole service: full liturgy, hymns, sermon, the lot. When it was finished and he shook the farmer's hand, the latter said to him: "It is true, pastor, that if only one cow came I would feed it. But I wouldn't give her the whole blooming cartload!"

     Well, that's the story, which may or may not be true. Which brings me to an even more interesting one.

The Addams Family Hallowe'en Song

   Of course, we all know the Addams Family, that weird and macabre family featured in a television series from 1964 to 1966, and in later films, based on the macabre cartoons of Charles Addams. Needless to say, they would celebrate Hallowe'en in preference to Christmas. Here is a song sung by Morticia Addams in one of the half hour programs.

'Twas Hallowe'en evening and all through the abode

Not a creature was stirring, not even a toad.

Jack-a-lanterns were hung on the gallows with care

To guide sister witch as she flies through the air -

     Drawn by eight beautiful bats.

As she calls out to them:

"Come Flitter, come Flutter, come Flapper and Flier,

Come Chitter, come Chatter, come Vicious Vampire!"

Still More Wacky Signs

Port Louis, Mauritius, 1991

     I'm busy scanning my slides from previous years, and am now up to 1991. I don't know how many weird signs I have recorded, but it seems enough to commence a new post.
     This one, for example, was a shingle on a store in the capital of Mauritius. Perhaps I should have gone inside to find out just what they were selling. Mauritius, in case you didn't know, is far more multi-racial and multi-cultural than nearly any other country, but it does not appear to be politically correct (at least, it wasn't in 1991). We would never get away with such a sign in Australia.

More Wacky Signs

     I hope you enjoyed my last collection of unusual signs. However, as I continue to digitalise my old slides, I continue to find new signs to include, so I have decided to make a new collection. As before, this post will be up-dated at irregular intervals until it is sufficiently large to be closed, and a new collection started.

The Pub With No Dyke

     I collected this poem in the mid-1970s, its authorship apparently being that prolific producer of ballads, limericks, and jokes: Anonymous. For my readers outside Australia - I know I have a few - I should explain that the title is a parody of Slim Dusty's most famous song, The Pub With No Beer, and a "dyke" is a toilet, or lavatory. For those who speak American, that means the restroom where you don't rest, the bathroom without a bath, or the washroom where you wash only after the event - although my experiences in the U.S. suggest this is a custom honoured as much in the breach as in the observance.
     At any rate, here it is: -

The Pub With No Dyke

I'll tell you a story; it happened to me.
A new pub had opened and the beer flowed free.
I'd had several drinks and was full of mad talk,
When Mother Nature came calling and I went for a walk.

Wacky Signs

    As I mentioned on my home blog, I have travelled to 83 different countries over my lifetime. I am now busy digitalising the thousands of slides and photos I took during these adventures, and am therefore taking the opportunity to share with you some of the unusual signs I photographed overseas. This is a work in progress, so feel free to come back every few months to discover what new sign has been added.

Christmas with the Demythologizers

     My late spiritual mentor, Dr Alan Cole once lent me a book of humorous verse by the Rev. E. L. Mascall, entitled, Pi in the High, The Faith Press, London (1959). I have already shared one of its poems in my previous post. This one is the second half of "Christmas with the Demythologizers", which was inspired by the book, Kerygma and Myth: A Theological Debate, by Rudolf Bultmann, Ernest Lohmeyer, Julius Schniewind, Friedrich Schumann, and Helmut Thielicke, with an appreciation by Austin Farrer (S.P.C.K., 1955).
     To appreciate it, you must understand the background. The "demythologizers" were a group of German theologians who wished to remove from Christianity what they considered "myths" - which they defined rather broadly. "Kerygma", the Greek word for preaching or proclamation, was what they considered to be the essential message left after the "myths" were removed. Du und ich is German for "Thou and I". The footnote regarding "many ancient authorities" will create no confusion with readers of modern Bible translations; it is used to alert the reader to variant readings of the text. 
     So, here it is:

Christmas with the Demythologizers. II.
Air: Good King Wenceslas

Dr. Bultmann ventured forth
    Boldly from his study,
When the wind was in the north
    And the roads were muddy.
All his thoughts were in a maze;
    This was not surprising.
He had spent some weary days
    Demythologizing.